fridaythe13th2009I am a Jason fan. I own the entire series on DVD. I have watched them repeatedly. This new remake, or re-imagining as Hollywood likes to call it these days, falls somewhere in the lower ranks, right in between Jason Takes Manhattan and Jason Goes to Hell (Hell being a complete embarrassment to the series).

There’s no need to give plot details, it’s a Friday the 13th movie: gratuitous nudity and/or sex, and a lot of people get killed.


The women are hot, that’s going to earn it a point right there (hey, it’s a Friday the 13th movie, come on). The blond guy who plays the ass bag who should have been killed before the script was green lit looks a lot like Tom Cruise, and kind of acts like him, too. That gets it half a point. The redneck who loves the mannequin, that gets a half point. So that’s a score of two. And Jason….Well, Jason is back in action, so that’s going to get it another half point. That’s all I’m going to give the big lug.

This new film lacks charm. That old slice and hack charm. I narrowly recommend it to veteran Jason fans; it’s our Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. A nice token, but derivative. The old Jason I love is take-no-prisoner; this new incarnation, well, he does take a prisoner. This 2009 Jason isn’t fresh and new, as the film makers attempted to make him, he’s just another face in the crowd, and all the stabbings and decapitations and bouncing, jiggling, barely legal boobies in the world can’t change it. It doesn’t even have the fun of Freddy Vs. Jason going for it.

The best I can say is, it’s an okay movie.

2.5 out of 5
the_novacula