laid-to-restA woman wakes up in a coffin in the middle of the night, in a funeral home, with head trauma giving her amnesia, and a man in a chrome-skull mask and video camera on his shoulder trying to kill her with a really big scary-crazy knife.

I don’t have to tell you, that’s a bad fuckin’ night right there.

The elderly man at the funeral who tries to help her gets killed by chrome face.  The woman narrowly escapes and is picked up by a limping-leg passer-by.  He takes her home, he and his wife decide to help the amnesiac damsel in distress.  Sadly, dudes wife gets killed for helping.  Like I’ve always said, it doesn’t pay to help.

So now everybody runs here, then there, then they backtrack to here, and go there, and this movie is a hell of a mess with good make-up.  It’s like a KISS tribute band:  it’s playing the same old songs you know by heart, but it’s missing all the magic and charm.  Sadly, even if it were the midget KISS tribute band, it wouldn’t help.  Anybody seen Ankle Biters?

Laid To Rest wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t so damn boring. 

Yeah, there’s a lot going in this thing, plenty of action and kills and dead bodies, but none of it is the least bit interesting or entertaining.  It has the basic premise of meet characters, see people die in grisly fashions, everybody else run and emote.

If the rest of the story was as good as the blood and guts and kill effects, this would have been a kick ass time for the whole family.  But there’s nothing to it, and it drags that nothing on for way too long a running time.  Laid To Rest is strictly a curiosity case:  Why is Lena Headey (300, The Sarah Connor Chronicles) in this thing?

1 out of 5
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