LITERAL REMAINS

You read that correctly, I am suggesting  Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood.  You wanna be startin’ somethin’?

If there ever was a guilty pleasure, it’s Bordello of Blood.  It is filled wall to wall with cheeky humor, gross outs, Dennis Miller in what has been his best movie so far, scantily clad vampire prostitutes, and fake boobed vampire prostitutes running around nude.  Plus Corey Feldman, a midget, and Chris Sarandon as a shady televangelist.  How this all failed at the box office is beyond me.

Dennis Miller plays Rafe Guttman, a private investigator who is hired by a young lady, Katherine (Erika Eleniak), to find her missing brother, Caleb (that one Corey).  Caleb went out with his friends and never came home.  What his sis doesn’t know is that Caleb and his friends, while out shooting pool, received a tip about a whorehouse.  The bordello is fronted by a funeral home, and the doorman/mortician is a very disturbed individual who likes to feel up the corpses for the legit business side of things.

As the title suggests, the whorehouse side of things is indeed populated with hungry vampire babes.  The madam of the establishment is Lilith (Angie Everhart), the queen of all vamps.  Lilith was awakened at the beginning of the movie by the midget,Vincent, who just happens to work for Reverend Current (Sarandon).  Katherine works for Current, and Rafe is soon onto the connection between the vampire queen and the preacher.

This movie is funny.  If you like Dennis Miller and nude vampire whores, two great tastes that taste great together.  True, there are funnier horror comedies, but they don’t have Miller (who is flat out funny here) or Angie Everhart, and Bordello wears its tastelessness like a badge of honor.  Plus, you can’t beat a little person working a double cross.  Or a guitar slinging televangelist.  Or fake vampire boobs.

the_novacula